Ok, so many of the women at work feel like it's their duty to match me up with their sons, brothers, nephews, friends, neighbors and acquaintances. They all say, "You are such nice person and I just want my (son, brother, nephew, friend, neighbor or acquaintance) to find a nice girl." It actually amuses me quite a bit as they go on and rave about the positive attributes of my prospective suitor.
One time I did actually give a mom my phone number for her son. The lady asked me for my number and so I consulted with a friend on what I should do. She said I need to live by the "Yes" rule, which basically says unless the guy is an absolute creep, you have to say yes to one date. I wondered how this applied in my situation since I didn't actually know the guy. My friend decided that if the mom is nice, then the same rule should apply. So I gave her my number. Let's just say she told her son that I saw his picture on her desk and thought he was cute, so I gave her my number and asked him to call. He ended up calling. We talked for about 10 minutes but then he was embarrased to no end when he found out his mother was playing matchmaker. Let's just say things were a little awkward at work when I had to face the scheming, little, old lady the next day. Finally she yelled at me and said I didn't need to avoid her. Yes, yes I did.
That incident was almost normal compared to the conversation I had with a lady from work last Friday. She said she had a guy that she wanted to set me up with, but when I found out who he was I probably would be shocked. That's never a good preface to a blind date scenario. She said that she really wanted this guy to find a nice girl and that I was the first one to come to mind. So who was this man? It was her ex-husband. After I stared at her blankly for awhile I decided to ask her why she would set me up with someone she divorced. She said that she was miserable being married to him, but now looking back it wasn't that bad. The grass was greener on the other side, so to speak. But, she did mention he cheated on her a couple times. What? Why would I ever want to date a guy with a history of cheating? I was floored by this point. Then she said that she had to think about whoever he dated and the influence they would have on their three kids, especially her impressionable 16-year-old daughter. With a 16-year-old daughter he would have to be. . . I asked. He is 38. I'm much closer to the daughter's age than I am to his. She said he was "young at heart," but has grown up a lot since they were married. These two things somehow are contradictory to me. Hmmm.
She asked me to go to a bar that night and hang out with their group of friends to see if we had anything in common. Fortunately, I had plans so I dodged a bullet, but then she asked me to hang out the next night. I didn't have plans so I made something up. I lied. I am a horrible liar so she probably saw right through me. I should have just said, "no, I'm not interested", but I was dumb and didn't want to hurt her feelings.
Yikes, being single in a workplace filled with meddling women is dangerous business. Not to mention the scary guys who stalk you and write you creepy messages, but that's a story for another time.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
The day I almost died
So everyone has heard about the ice storm that has swept the nation. Well, my town was not exempt from the icy chaos. Work was cancelled one day, but the day it was worst we has a late start. So the adventure began with me calling our weather hot line at 6am to see what time we would be opening. The freeing feeling that comes from finding out work doesn't start until 10am cannot be described in words. The sheer joy of rolling over and knowing you can sleep an extra two hours is probably one of the best feelings ever.
Anyway, it ended up being pushed back again until noon, so my roommates and I bundled up and watched the Chronicles of Narnia. The warmth that Aslan brought to Narnia gave me hope that one day feeling would return to my toes. So after putting on my 7 layers I finally had to leave the semi-warmth of the apartment and brave the tundra.
Well, I almost died. A guy in a slick, black Lexus with vanity plates decided to pass me. I was driving cautiously at 35mph where the speed limit was 70 because I was fishtailing all over the place. We were the only 2 cars on the road. He got past me and began to spin. Instinctively I slammed on the breaks (I know, I know the absolute worst thing to do in ice), but if I hadn't I would have slammed into him. Then he flies off the side of the road into the ditch. My car finally stops perpendicular to the highway. I was able to pull off onto the shoulder to check on the guy who drove off the road. The Lexus drives back on to the road and honks as he goes by to let me know he's OK. "I'm glad you're fine, sir who was driving to fast, but my hands are still shaking, thanks for asking." So, I'm closer to work than I am to my house so I carefully drive on. I was one of maybe 10 people in the building. Slowly our number climbed, but we topped out at 50 (we have 250 in our building normally).
The ice adventure stories began to trickle in. One employee was in a ditch and the "big boss" who is from New England (he was calling everyone wusses for complaining about the ice) decided he would go get her out. Then they told him which employee it was and he said maybe he should wait a little while. I think you have to know the person to really appreciate the hilarity of that statement. He decided that he had to go get her, and he was able to get her out.
Next we found out our HR lady had attempted the to make the hour and a half commute to work in the ice and wrecked her Z3. This car was her baby, her birthday present to herself. So the "big boss" decided he was going to go rescue her too. I asked him if he had a hero complex. My coworkers laughed uncomfortably not sure if the boss would find this funny too. I told him I was trying to break down barriers, but he said I was asking to not ever get promoted. He was kidding, I hope.
You won't believe the nerve of this state trooper. The HR lady asked the State Trooper, who stopped to check on her, to write an incident report for her insurance. He said he would also have to give her a citation if he wrote up an incident report, or else she'd have to do it herself. She asked him for what the citation would be for. He said that she must have been going too fast to spin off the road. She swears she was going 40 in a 70. Immediately after this, a little, old lady in a minivan going 35 hit the same patch of ice and slid off the road about 50 feet ahead. The trooper speeds off to go check on her and does the exact same thing. Talk about dumb.
So yeah, I think that was all the really exciting stories. Fortunately, no one was hurt. But Texans don't know how to drive on ice. Well, I guess I can't talk. I lived the majority of my life on the equator, then lived in Southern California, and finally Texas. So yep that was ice escapades or ice capades so to speak
Anyway, it ended up being pushed back again until noon, so my roommates and I bundled up and watched the Chronicles of Narnia. The warmth that Aslan brought to Narnia gave me hope that one day feeling would return to my toes. So after putting on my 7 layers I finally had to leave the semi-warmth of the apartment and brave the tundra.
Well, I almost died. A guy in a slick, black Lexus with vanity plates decided to pass me. I was driving cautiously at 35mph where the speed limit was 70 because I was fishtailing all over the place. We were the only 2 cars on the road. He got past me and began to spin. Instinctively I slammed on the breaks (I know, I know the absolute worst thing to do in ice), but if I hadn't I would have slammed into him. Then he flies off the side of the road into the ditch. My car finally stops perpendicular to the highway. I was able to pull off onto the shoulder to check on the guy who drove off the road. The Lexus drives back on to the road and honks as he goes by to let me know he's OK. "I'm glad you're fine, sir who was driving to fast, but my hands are still shaking, thanks for asking." So, I'm closer to work than I am to my house so I carefully drive on. I was one of maybe 10 people in the building. Slowly our number climbed, but we topped out at 50 (we have 250 in our building normally).
The ice adventure stories began to trickle in. One employee was in a ditch and the "big boss" who is from New England (he was calling everyone wusses for complaining about the ice) decided he would go get her out. Then they told him which employee it was and he said maybe he should wait a little while. I think you have to know the person to really appreciate the hilarity of that statement. He decided that he had to go get her, and he was able to get her out.
Next we found out our HR lady had attempted the to make the hour and a half commute to work in the ice and wrecked her Z3. This car was her baby, her birthday present to herself. So the "big boss" decided he was going to go rescue her too. I asked him if he had a hero complex. My coworkers laughed uncomfortably not sure if the boss would find this funny too. I told him I was trying to break down barriers, but he said I was asking to not ever get promoted. He was kidding, I hope.
You won't believe the nerve of this state trooper. The HR lady asked the State Trooper, who stopped to check on her, to write an incident report for her insurance. He said he would also have to give her a citation if he wrote up an incident report, or else she'd have to do it herself. She asked him for what the citation would be for. He said that she must have been going too fast to spin off the road. She swears she was going 40 in a 70. Immediately after this, a little, old lady in a minivan going 35 hit the same patch of ice and slid off the road about 50 feet ahead. The trooper speeds off to go check on her and does the exact same thing. Talk about dumb.
So yeah, I think that was all the really exciting stories. Fortunately, no one was hurt. But Texans don't know how to drive on ice. Well, I guess I can't talk. I lived the majority of my life on the equator, then lived in Southern California, and finally Texas. So yep that was ice escapades or ice capades so to speak
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
My first blog ever
I have been inspired by my coworker to start my own blog. I kind of missed that bandwagon when it started a couple years ago. I think I was in Argentina. I'm at a point in my life when so many crazy things are happening and decisions are being made, that I feel like it would be fun to chronicle it. If not for anyone else, at least for myself. Just forewarning, I hate punctuation so please don't judge me by my grammar skills. I think I must have slept through that part of elementary school or else my teachers all assumed that another teacher would impart that crucial piece literary knowledge.
My first story begins with work. My office is a petri dish of interesting stories. I work for a gigantic cutting-edge technology company in one of their satellite locations out in the country. This dichotomy is quite interesting. Basically the town gave us use of this former missile factory for free, so we are stuck in a town with less people than the number of employees in our one division. That being said, today I received an email survey from global facilities. Most of the questions were not even applicable. I had to rate the food service...I guess I would be rating myself since lunch means running to one of the 3 fast food restaurants in town (two more than when we first opened). The next one asked to rate the landscaping. Well, considering we hire the model inmates at the local women's correctional facility to mow the fields surrounding our building, I guess we get our money's worth. But can you really call that landscaping? Anyway, those little funny things like this never fail to amuse me.
So yeah, it's late, and I really just wanted to start a blog. We'll see if I can keep up with this.
My first story begins with work. My office is a petri dish of interesting stories. I work for a gigantic cutting-edge technology company in one of their satellite locations out in the country. This dichotomy is quite interesting. Basically the town gave us use of this former missile factory for free, so we are stuck in a town with less people than the number of employees in our one division. That being said, today I received an email survey from global facilities. Most of the questions were not even applicable. I had to rate the food service...I guess I would be rating myself since lunch means running to one of the 3 fast food restaurants in town (two more than when we first opened). The next one asked to rate the landscaping. Well, considering we hire the model inmates at the local women's correctional facility to mow the fields surrounding our building, I guess we get our money's worth. But can you really call that landscaping? Anyway, those little funny things like this never fail to amuse me.
So yeah, it's late, and I really just wanted to start a blog. We'll see if I can keep up with this.
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