Matchmaker, Matchmaker make me a match...

Ok, so many of the women at work feel like it's their duty to match me up with their sons, brothers, nephews, friends, neighbors and acquaintances. They all say, "You are such nice person and I just want my (son, brother, nephew, friend, neighbor or acquaintance) to find a nice girl." It actually amuses me quite a bit as they go on and rave about the positive attributes of my prospective suitor.
One time I did actually give a mom my phone number for her son. The lady asked me for my number and so I consulted with a friend on what I should do. She said I need to live by the "Yes" rule, which basically says unless the guy is an absolute creep, you have to say yes to one date. I wondered how this applied in my situation since I didn't actually know the guy. My friend decided that if the mom is nice, then the same rule should apply. So I gave her my number. Let's just say she told her son that I saw his picture on her desk and thought he was cute, so I gave her my number and asked him to call. He ended up calling. We talked for about 10 minutes but then he was embarrased to no end when he found out his mother was playing matchmaker. Let's just say things were a little awkward at work when I had to face the scheming, little, old lady the next day. Finally she yelled at me and said I didn't need to avoid her. Yes, yes I did.
That incident was almost normal compared to the conversation I had with a lady from work last Friday. She said she had a guy that she wanted to set me up with, but when I found out who he was I probably would be shocked. That's never a good preface to a blind date scenario. She said that she really wanted this guy to find a nice girl and that I was the first one to come to mind. So who was this man? It was her ex-husband. After I stared at her blankly for awhile I decided to ask her why she would set me up with someone she divorced. She said that she was miserable being married to him, but now looking back it wasn't that bad. The grass was greener on the other side, so to speak. But, she did mention he cheated on her a couple times. What? Why would I ever want to date a guy with a history of cheating? I was floored by this point. Then she said that she had to think about whoever he dated and the influence they would have on their three kids, especially her impressionable 16-year-old daughter. With a 16-year-old daughter he would have to be. . . I asked. He is 38. I'm much closer to the daughter's age than I am to his. She said he was "young at heart," but has grown up a lot since they were married. These two things somehow are contradictory to me. Hmmm.
She asked me to go to a bar that night and hang out with their group of friends to see if we had anything in common. Fortunately, I had plans so I dodged a bullet, but then she asked me to hang out the next night. I didn't have plans so I made something up. I lied. I am a horrible liar so she probably saw right through me. I should have just said, "no, I'm not interested", but I was dumb and didn't want to hurt her feelings.
Yikes, being single in a workplace filled with meddling women is dangerous business. Not to mention the scary guys who stalk you and write you creepy messages, but that's a story for another time.